Today is exactly 10 weeks, or 70 days, since my husband last worked. The job finding process continues. He fills out numerous applications daily searching in our area, our state, our country, and even our world. Our family's prayer continues to be a job for here, but we are willing to go elsewhere. A friend recently sent me this message, "I just can't figure out why He (God) is making you wait so long? Still trusting Him (God) completely! Just wondering..." I've been wondering too, although I try to not analyze God as I was in the habit of doing in the past. The reasons are endless, but some possibilities are as follows: worldly requirements, sin, my turn, His timing, or His blessings.
Tim’s brick walls appear in regards to requirements, too little or not enough. Being an owner, vice president, and director of operations; companies don’t even want to look at him in fear of his ‘over qualifications.’ The threat is in believing he might just take off when a better offer surfaces. On the other hand, Tim’s vast knowledge in business is due to experience rather than education. Although he has been repeatedly praised for having more wisdom than a master’s degree, many businesses require that paper. Another wall is age. In 3 more weeks (21 days) my wonderful husband will become the great age of sixty. These are all worldly obstacles. That is my point – worldly. God is not of this world. He sent His son to overcome the world. Not one person has the requirements to enter Heaven. To this Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27 NIV) God can provide Tim a job.
Is there sin keeping us from God’s
provision? I often pray,
“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any
wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps 139:23-24 NKJV)
I am not a perfect Christian, but I
do seek Him the best I can each day with all my heart. My desire is to be
refined and to die daily to self. I fail miserably, and I am thankful for a God
who sees my heart, dusts me off, and walks me closer to Him. I cannot speak for
Tim’s heart, but I do see a great love in him for the Lord, and continual
growth. In his last job, Tim stood true to his faith although pressured to make
ungodly decisions. All in all, his faith is probably what cost him the only job
he’s ever been let go from. We are not without sin, but we both love our Savior
and are continually being transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:1-3) God has a plan for
us.
My
mind often asks, “Is it your turn to work, Jenny?” My husband continually responds, “No.” The
world often answers, “Yes.” What does God say? I seek God on this occasionally
even when Tim is working. We both strongly believe God has me homeschooling our
boys. It has been a blessing to have this confirmed through a variety of ways.
I often do ponder on what God has in store for me once they are grown (a whole
other topic of its own). My own age, lack of requirements and health issues
play a concern. “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose
under heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) God has blessed me
with a season of schooling my boys for now.
God’s
timing for Tim’s next adventure just hasn't arrived yet. There could be so many
reasons for the when of God’s plans. His timing is perfect and without
question, yet my analytical mind ponders – Tim’s thoughts, situations allowed,
changed hearts, and perseverance.
Tim
recently shared with me his thoughts on why God is waiting. He realized jobs
seem to come to him near his birthday, May 27th. He was hired at
McDonald’s and later Burger King in May. It was also coming into his birthday
weekend when he received word of his employment with Dunkin Donuts, moving us
from New York to North Carolina. Here it is – May.
These
past 10 weeks have allowed for situations I praise God Tim has been here for.
We have had flooding (plumbing) surprises, and an exciting hail storm which
caused major damage. We are still having ongoing activity in regards to damage
from the hail storm.
Our
hearts are continually changing, hopefully growing closer to Christ. This
circumstance has already brought about change. Mama doesn’t like anyone messin’ with her kids or man! My claws
came out when I saw the effects of Tim’s unethical, cruel employer on him. God
has truly taught me to love this unlovable man, enemy if you will, with His
love. I forgave him and pray for this man to turn to our Lord and Savior. “But
I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 ESV) My heart is continually changing. What
a joy when I begin to focus on our situation, and the fear that desires to
settle in, and God draws me back to Him – His peace and hope!
We
are growing in perseverance. For a few weeks in February and March, it was easy
to feel relief from the pressures Tim had at work, and keep our hope and trust
in God’s provision. If God had supplied Tim with a job then, our perseverance
would not have grown. We want growth! “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,
whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of
your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you
may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James
1:2-4)
Over these past 70 days we have faced trials. We have had our faith tested.
Through the dark days, as we begin to give into the unknown, God has revealed
Himself, carrying us and filling us with His joy and hope. “And not only that,
but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces
perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4 NKJV) It seems as we go through different
trials, the length and intensity increase refining us even greater and preparing
us for what lies ahead.
Tim
might not have a job yet because of God’s blessings? It makes complete sense!
Although this has been a stormy season, we have experienced many of God’s
blessings! We were concerned about food, and a wonderful man came to fill our
freezer! Our boys were blessed with scholarships to attend a Christian concert
and go to a weekend camp at the beach! A friend blessed me with a scholarship
to attend a fabulous women’s conference! God has provided financial means
through people and our tax return (thank You, God for all those medical needs
last year), just as we needed it! Food has been given to us by other friends
and neighbors! These are incredible blessings which have brought me to my knees
in tears praising God. He is good!
Why
is God having us wait so long? I have no idea. Yes, my analytical self can
ponder several different avenues, but for now I am just going to rest in God. I
am going to enjoy the blessings while waiting and having my family together,
growing as only a family can when around each other so often. I am going to be
fervent in prayer while waiting and open to any refinement God has in store for
my heart. One day I will praise Him from the mountaintops when God blesses my
precious husband with His perfect gift! “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let
your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm
27:14 ESV)
~Jenny~
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