Wherever You Lead, I’ll Go

   "Take up thy cross and follow Me,"

    I heard my Master say;

    "I gave My life to ransom thee,

    Surrender your all today."

   Wherever He leads I'll go,

   Wherever He leads I'll go; 

   I'll follow my Christ who loves me so,

   Wherever He leads I'll go.

   He drew me closer to His side,

   I sought His will to know,

   And in that will I now abide,

   Wherever He leads I'll go.

   It may be thro' the shadows dim,

   Or o'er the stormy sea,

   I take my cross and follow Him,

   Wherever He leadeth me.

   My heart, my life, my all I bring

   To Christ who loves me so;

   He is my Master, Lord, and King,

   Wherever He leads I'll go.

How appropriate to sing this song Sunday night. In this season of job searching, our family’s heart desire has remained in Youngsville, NC, although we have declared to go if God leads us elsewhere. God’s amazing hand has been evident in our family being here; including a church (body) and neighborhood we ALL love. Our home we moved into one year ago was definitely a gift from God. I love that the couple who lived here had it built and lived in it for twenty years; we moved into it our twentieth year of marriage.  Jobs have not panned out locally, and at the moment Tim has two very good possibilities out of state.

One job brings us to Florida. We will soon be travelling down for a two day, ride around, interview; a sign of serious interest. Another strong possibility moves us to Texas. Tim’s three stages of interviews went well, and he will know within two weeks. Texas, really? We consider pros and cons with both of these, but of course, we know wherever God provides will be good. Our hearts still long for Youngsville, but I hate to admit more and more my heart holds attitudes of comfort and peace in regards to moving. My feelings that God has us here are not as strong. I ponder - is He changing my heart, or am I accepting whatever He provides? I certainly hope the latter proves true.

Settled in my mind that our family would likely be making a move, yesterday (Monday) a local job arises again. Tim will soon be interviewing for a multi-unit position here. Hmmm… Florida, Texas, North Carolina – what if all three made offers? Oh, God! We are praying and waiting for Your provision and the discernment to know which direction. You know our hearts, but ultimately we want what You know is best for us. Wherever You lead, we will joyfully follow! "As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” (Luke 9:57 NIV)

                                                      ~ Jenny ~

I Trust You

I trust you. Every parent likes to hear these three words.  The very first year of a child’s life is crucial for the psychosocial development of trust (vs mistrust). During this time, a child learns to trust his or her caregiver, unless abuse or neglect occurs. We want our children to trust us and have confidence in their own life. Likewise, our Heavenly Father desires us to trust Him, and come to Him with this childlike faith (trust).

“And calling to him (Jesus) a child, he put him in the midst of them (the disciples) and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” Matthew 18:2-3 ESV. What does Jesus mean, “...become like children”? He means to have that childlike faith of trust. Most young children will trust their parents or caregivers. If they get hurt, feel ill, or become scared; they run to their parents for help.

My Little Men were all stuck in a tree. I raised my arms and asked them to jump. One son did and soon his feet touched the ground. Another, who was the highest up, followed suit and leaped into my arms. The remaining son would not jump. I tried coaxing him and explaining that I successfully assisted his brothers out of the tree. No! He would not trust me. I was the same Mom to him as I was to his brothers. Why did he refuse to trust me? Yes, it broke my heart.

I imagine God’s heart breaking. He is the same God to all of His children. His love and promises never fail.

          “Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

          And lean not on your own understanding;

          In all your ways acknowledge Him,

          And He shall direct[a] your paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV.

I wonder, am I willing to jump without hesitation into my Father’s arms, or am I scared and yelling, “No!”

In our season of waiting, fear creeps in. Forgive me, Father, when I cause Your heart to break! My heart’s desire and most joyous times are when I lean on promises from God’s Word to His children. From experience, I much rather prefer resting in His arms, than remaining stuck in a tree. O! Heavenly Father, I trust Thee!

                                                                            ~ Jenny ~

Just Wondering.... and Waiting

Today is exactly 10 weeks, or 70 days, since my husband last worked. The job finding process continues. He fills out numerous applications daily searching in our area, our state, our country, and even our world. Our family's prayer continues to be a job for here, but we are willing to go elsewhere. A friend recently sent me this message, "I just can't figure out why He (God) is making you wait so long? Still trusting Him (God) completely! Just wondering..." I've been wondering too, although I try to not analyze God as I was in the habit of doing in the past. The reasons are endless, but some possibilities are as follows: worldly requirements, sin, my turn, His timing, or His blessings.

Tim’s brick walls appear in regards to requirements, too little or not enough. Being an owner, vice president, and director of operations; companies don’t even want to look at him in fear of his ‘over qualifications.’ The threat is in believing he might just take off when a better offer surfaces. On the other hand, Tim’s vast knowledge in business is due to experience rather than education. Although he has been repeatedly praised for having more wisdom than a master’s degree, many businesses require that paper. Another wall is age. In 3 more weeks (21 days) my wonderful husband will become the great age of sixty.  These are all worldly obstacles. That is my point – worldly.  God is not of this world. He sent His son to overcome the world. Not one person has the requirements to enter Heaven. To this Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27 NIV) God can provide Tim a job.

Is there sin keeping us from God’s provision? I often pray,

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps 139:23-24 NKJV)

I am not a perfect Christian, but I do seek Him the best I can each day with all my heart. My desire is to be refined and to die daily to self. I fail miserably, and I am thankful for a God who sees my heart, dusts me off, and walks me closer to Him. I cannot speak for Tim’s heart, but I do see a great love in him for the Lord, and continual growth. In his last job, Tim stood true to his faith although pressured to make ungodly decisions. All in all, his faith is probably what cost him the only job he’s ever been let go from. We are not without sin, but we both love our Savior and are continually being transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:1-3) God has a plan for us.

My mind often asks, “Is it your turn to work, Jenny?”  My husband continually responds, “No.” The world often answers, “Yes.” What does God say? I seek God on this occasionally even when Tim is working. We both strongly believe God has me homeschooling our boys. It has been a blessing to have this confirmed through a variety of ways. I often do ponder on what God has in store for me once they are grown (a whole other topic of its own). My own age, lack of requirements and health issues play a concern. “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) God has blessed me with a season of schooling my boys for now.

God’s timing for Tim’s next adventure just hasn't arrived yet. There could be so many reasons for the when of God’s plans. His timing is perfect and without question, yet my analytical mind ponders – Tim’s thoughts, situations allowed, changed hearts, and perseverance.

Tim recently shared with me his thoughts on why God is waiting. He realized jobs seem to come to him near his birthday, May 27^th. He was hired at McDonald’s and later Burger King in May. It was also coming into his birthday weekend when he received word of his employment with Dunkin Donuts, moving us from New York to North Carolina. Here it is – May.

These past 10 weeks have allowed for situations I praise God Tim has been here for. We have had flooding (plumbing) surprises, and an exciting hail storm which caused major damage. We are still having ongoing activity in regards to damage from the hail storm.

           

Our hearts are continually changing, hopefully growing closer to Christ. This circumstance has already brought about change. Mama doesn’t like anyone messin’ with her kids or man! My claws came out when I saw the effects of Tim’s unethical, cruel employer on him. God has truly taught me to love this unlovable man, enemy if you will, with His love. I forgave him and pray for this man to turn to our Lord and Savior. “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 ESV) My heart is continually changing. What a joy when I begin to focus on our situation, and the fear that desires to settle in, and God draws me back to Him – His peace and hope!

We are growing in perseverance. For a few weeks in February and March, it was easy to feel relief from the pressures Tim had at work, and keep our hope and trust in God’s provision. If God had supplied Tim with a job then, our perseverance would not have grown. We want growth! “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4) Over these past 70 days we have faced trials. We have had our faith tested. Through the dark days, as we begin to give into the unknown, God has revealed Himself, carrying us and filling us with His joy and hope. “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4 NKJV) It seems as we go through different trials, the length and intensity increase refining us even greater and preparing us for what lies ahead.

Tim might not have a job yet because of God’s blessings? It makes complete sense! Although this has been a stormy season, we have experienced many of God’s blessings! We were concerned about food, and a wonderful man came to fill our freezer! Our boys were blessed with scholarships to attend a Christian concert and go to a weekend camp at the beach! A friend blessed me with a scholarship to attend a fabulous women’s conference! God has provided financial means through people and our tax return (thank You, God for all those medical needs last year), just as we needed it! Food has been given to us by other friends and neighbors! These are incredible blessings which have brought me to my knees in tears praising God. He is good!

Why is God having us wait so long? I have no idea. Yes, my analytical self can ponder several different avenues, but for now I am just going to rest in God. I am going to enjoy the blessings while waiting and having my family together, growing as only a family can when around each other so often. I am going to be fervent in prayer while waiting and open to any refinement God has in store for my heart. One day I will praise Him from the mountaintops when God blesses my precious husband with His perfect gift! “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

                                                                                 ~Jenny~