What is love?

I was recently asked, “What is love?” The Holy Spirit had already been tugging my heart about love. I zoned into my own little world as others answered. My many thoughts gravitated to "God is love," but I remained silent contemplating my belief, experience, and depth of those words. Since then, my mind keeps drifting towards that question. For many years, I have believed the word love to be overused, even by myself. I love guacamole (many of you don’t, but for me it’s a taste of heaven!). I love to dance. I love to read (especially the Word). I love to fish. I love nature. I love worship. I love my pets, friends, family, children, and husband. I love God. God is love. Love is not just a feeling or emotion; love involves action.

We begin life loving others because they love us. Our parents feed us, make sure we’re cleaned, clothed, and protected as young children. We love them. Hopefully, as we mature, our understanding of love deepens. We tend to make friends and relationships based on who loves or cares for us. What happens in times of differences, strife, or distance? These loves fade. We should not love others because they love us; “we (should) love (others) because He (God) first loved us.”  (1 John 4:19) How is this different? Look at the source of the love. Our love is imperfect. No matter how much we care for others or try to show love, we will fail at some point. We are human. God’s love is without sin. It is perfect, pure, powerful, and eternal.

God’s love is full of grace. He loved us when we were unlovable – living in sin. He loves us now, even at our worse. We should show that same love to others. We are to imitate His love. Do we love others who are doing things we disapprove of, or are we complaining and judging? Do we love our enemies or those who don’t love us? It is easy to love those who care for us. When people hurt us, our family, or those we love; usually claws come out. Instead, love them. My mom would tell me, “Look at them and think, ‘I love you’.” In Luke 6:28, Jesus commands, “Pray for those who mistreat you.” Wow! I hope you try this. At first, my prayers for the ‘unlovable’ were words of obedience only. As I remained faithful in prayer, God refined my heart replacing anger and bitterness with peace and a sincere love for the individual. Love is powerful!

Love is trusting the One who loves you and going to Him instead of living in fear or doubt. We are commanded to not fear. Fear is a sin, folks! It’s the opposite of love! I struggle with fear at times. When focusing on my fears, God’s love cannot shine through me. Instead a darkness consumes me, and defeat is written across my face. That is not love. Love is faith, not doubt. When we doubt life will get better, it won’t. We’re not having our faith in the One who loves us, but in our skills, another person, or fate. God promises to take care of us even more than the lilies of the field and the sparrows in the sky. Believe in His perfect love, and that will give you the hope in a situation where you might otherwise doubt.

Love conquers everything. Love gives us courage to face our fears, doubts, weaknesses, and storms. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through or will go through. God’s love gets you through lost jobs, homes, possessions, friends, family, and churches. When we fixate on our own storms, burden and depression are likely to overwhelm us, draining the capacity to show His love. Instead, cast these anxieties upon Christ, and love others as He carries us and gives us the strength to do so. God has a reason for your circumstance.  He might be growing you or others. His special plan for you may lead in a completely different direction then you might ever dream of going. Embrace where He has you, while trusting his best for you in His time. I’m not saying it’s easy, but He gives us a peace which is greater than any storm. He carries us through the storm to brighter days. It may be a long season of strife, but keep hope because His loving promise is to bring you into better days for eternity. One day there will be no more tears or pain. Believing that promise, enables us to trust Him in the storm and love others even when we’re hurting.

Love is giving forgiveness. Don’t withhold it when someone (including your spouse or children) hurts you, or does the same offense or annoyance over and over again. God calls us to forgive. That is love. Not staying angry or being vengeful, but patiently and kindly (yep, I need to work on that one!) forgive. “But he – “ NO! It doesn’t matter the transgression. Forgive. Then move on! God is bigger than any hurt. Don’t put Him in a box. His can shine through us to those we have forgiven.

Love is willing to change. I know I have grown so much, yet have such a long way to go. Through prayer, the Bible, songs, books, or others – God makes me aware of my weaknesses and sin. One example is the fruit of the Spirit, kindness. I realized I get much too sarcastic at times. Becoming kind is now on my prayer list. Oh, I ask God to change my heart - hit me with a 2x4 when I’m not kind. Make me aware and give me the courage to grow. Prevent me from hurting others, even unintentionally. He does. I feel His hand on my shoulder or mouth. “Don’t…., but do….” I don’t ever want to stop changing. We are called to be imitators of Christ; therefore, I’m called to constantly change so I can love with His love.

And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (I John 4:21) When we began attending our church in Youngsville, I went with the heart attitude and desire to love each person with God’s love, regardless of what they said or did. Once the Holy Spirit impressed this calling upon me, I prayed for I Corinthians 13 to emulate through me. I Corinthians 13 defines love as patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love is NOT envious, boastful, proud, dishonoring of others, self-seeking, easily angered, keeping record of mistakes, or delighting in evil. Love never fails. I am not saying I succeeded, but that was my heart. I did not worry about whether they liked me or not. I just wanted Jesus to shine as much through me as possible. The results? Pure joy! I don’t know if I was a blessing to them, but I know Christ worked in me. I fell in love and hard. When we knew we were moving, I could barely look at the choir or around the church without tearing up. I loved these brothers and sisters, prayed for them, cared for their prayer requests and families as they shared. I had formed bonds I never knew possible. I still love, miss and pray for them.

Love is moving past our circumstances (storms) and allowing God’s love to be evident in us for His glory, not our own gain.  We will never master love, but each day we can be a greater vessel for the Master of love to shine through. We are now in a new state and a new church. I know God wants me to continue sharing His love with others. I have been consumed. I have failed. My focus has been on my own fears, creating a cocoon. No more! Hearing the question, “What is love?” brought all this to heart and mind. Love is looking past our own desires, needs, storms, and living victoriously reflecting God’s love to others because He first loved us.

                                                                                          ~ Jenny ~

I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye!

Yikes! I never did post my part II... and now another topic is captivating my thoughts.

Two years ago we moved into a wonderful house, into an even better neighborhood, and near an even greater church. Due to my husband’s job being two states away, we are leaving to join him. We spent months praying for a door here, but God has led us elsewhere. What a difficult move! We don’t want to say goodbye to our church!

What? Many people ponder leaving their church for one reason or another. Did our family find the perfect church? No, but we went with the right attitudes. Church is about worshiping God and communing with the body. Together we selected where to worship after praying for the church God had for our family. It was not quite the music style, size, or ‘programs’ we were looking for, but we all knew God led us to Flat Rock Baptist. We were excited to get to know our new family.

That’s right. To us, every body of believers is family. These brothers and sisters would not be like any we had met before, nor should we expect them to be. Everyone is unique and created for a different road that sometimes intertwines. We are extremely blessed our road brought us to Youngsville, NC. We are all called to love with Christ’s love, to forgive again and again, and to allow the fruit of the Spirit to mature within us. Paul also warns us against quarreling among each other. My desire is to be God’s vessel in these areas and in any other way He chooses to use me. I am not perfect. I fail. I put my foot in my mouth. But our God is always there to help me up and continue.

“Well, easy for you,” you might assume, “You haven’t experienced what I have. You haven’t been wounded.”

Yes, I have. My family has. My injuries (although likely different from yours) have withdrawn me into a shell before, protecting myself from others. Then the best thing happen to me, God allowed me to be alone and without – except for Him. (This looks different for different people). I clung to Him and grew, and continue to grow. I don’t want to spend my life focused on me, or on trials – no matter how big or small. I want to emulate my Father, and be His light, vessel for others. I went into Flat Rock with my family and with that attitude. God opened my heart bigger than I knew possible. I fell in love.

I discovered that when our focus is in the right place, the same circumstances have a different perspective. I previously mentioned Flat Rock wasn’t exactly what we were looking for, although we knew God planted us there. I was wrong. It is perfect – it is family. We love the music style, size, and any ‘events’ that come along. Sure, mistakes are made - people are human; but they are family and we forgive and grow. We cry together and laugh together. That is what family does. If we run when there are issues (instead of pulling together in prayer and love), we will miss out on the benefits of restoration and growth.

This Sunday is probably our last before moving.  It aches to go to church and see many brothers and sisters that are a huge part of our heart and prayer life. This move seems premature for our family, but inevitable. I will continue to love and pray for my Flat Rock family, and look forward to seeing them in heaven, if not before. We have been blessed more than imaginable. I hope our family has been even a fraction of a blessing for them.  I am humbled.

Soon, we’ll be looking for a new church and meet more family. They will not be Flat Rock, but they will be special. 

I don’t want to leave my church, but I trust the road on which God leads our family. (Do you want to leave your church? If so, check to see where your focus has been planted. I challenge you to be who God created you to be – regardless of others – before you make any decisions. You may be incredibly blessed.)

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-38

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Galatians 5:22-27

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.  Romans 14:1  Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly… Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must , able to teach, not resentful.  2 Timothy 2:14-16, 22-24

                                                                                                            ~ Jenny ~

Content in the Storm - Part I

Just today, I was happily dancing with my cart and donning the biggest smile while leaving Harris Teeter (and saving over $100!). One would never speculate the circumstances around me. Currently in the midst of a storm, I realized I was completely content! First, let me back track.

My new razor - so blessed!!!

My life changed (maybe I’m being dramatic) this morning. We have been tremendously blessed for months. People have filled our freezer, have given us groceries, and have brought us wonderful meals. But the other day when the boys and I came home from visiting Tim, someone had blessed us with razors! You might think that sounds crazy, but for me it was amazing! I didn't realize how much until this morning. In fact, I thought, “Razors? Hmmm…” But then this morning, for the first time since January, I used a new razor. For the last 9 months I had used one of my husband’s disposable razors.  Let me tell you- it is not the same as a girl’s razor. This morning, as I took my shower, I brought in with me one of these new disposable razors. I had the closest, smoothest shave that I can remember! I felt like a new woman! I just had to celebrate!

Oh, yeah, baby! And under $2!!!
One lucky gal!

After months of making frugal and sacrificial purchases, I bought something for me - lettuce! Not that nasty pale iceberg lettuce (Sorry, Tim, I know you like your wedge salads), but the savory, delicious dark green leaf lettuce. Yes, I splurged a whopping $1.99! Oh, yeah, and then I caved on another item! A while back, I failed to replenish the cream for my coffee. I do believe I was almost beginning to enjoy black coffee. Then I visited my husband. Tim spoiled me – half & half!!! Oh, wow! It’s amazing how little turns my morning drink into a rich, creamy, satisfying dessert.

Now, I'm not being totally selfish. I didn't splurge only on myself with some lettuce and half & half (which one of my sons already wants to drink – it’ll be gone in no time!). Harris Teeter is known in our family for having Archie comic books. So being the selfless mother I am, I splurged on my boys too. I purchased not one, but two Archie books. I'll surprise them with one in a few days, and another one in a few weeks. Won't they just be the happiest guys ever!

Just to clarify: my contentment and joy doesn’t come from this moment of lavish spending or luxuries. Through endurance and growth of my faith and hope in Christ, I find increased joy each day.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13



                                                                                                                              ~Jenny~