What is love?

I was recently asked, “What is love?” The Holy Spirit had already been tugging my heart about love. I zoned into my own little world as others answered. My many thoughts gravitated to "God is love," but I remained silent contemplating my belief, experience, and depth of those words. Since then, my mind keeps drifting towards that question. For many years, I have believed the word love to be overused, even by myself. I love guacamole (many of you don’t, but for me it’s a taste of heaven!). I love to dance. I love to read (especially the Word). I love to fish. I love nature. I love worship. I love my pets, friends, family, children, and husband. I love God. God is love. Love is not just a feeling or emotion; love involves action.

We begin life loving others because they love us. Our parents feed us, make sure we’re cleaned, clothed, and protected as young children. We love them. Hopefully, as we mature, our understanding of love deepens. We tend to make friends and relationships based on who loves or cares for us. What happens in times of differences, strife, or distance? These loves fade. We should not love others because they love us; “we (should) love (others) because He (God) first loved us.”  (1 John 4:19) How is this different? Look at the source of the love. Our love is imperfect. No matter how much we care for others or try to show love, we will fail at some point. We are human. God’s love is without sin. It is perfect, pure, powerful, and eternal.

God’s love is full of grace. He loved us when we were unlovable – living in sin. He loves us now, even at our worse. We should show that same love to others. We are to imitate His love. Do we love others who are doing things we disapprove of, or are we complaining and judging? Do we love our enemies or those who don’t love us? It is easy to love those who care for us. When people hurt us, our family, or those we love; usually claws come out. Instead, love them. My mom would tell me, “Look at them and think, ‘I love you’.” In Luke 6:28, Jesus commands, “Pray for those who mistreat you.” Wow! I hope you try this. At first, my prayers for the ‘unlovable’ were words of obedience only. As I remained faithful in prayer, God refined my heart replacing anger and bitterness with peace and a sincere love for the individual. Love is powerful!

Love is trusting the One who loves you and going to Him instead of living in fear or doubt. We are commanded to not fear. Fear is a sin, folks! It’s the opposite of love! I struggle with fear at times. When focusing on my fears, God’s love cannot shine through me. Instead a darkness consumes me, and defeat is written across my face. That is not love. Love is faith, not doubt. When we doubt life will get better, it won’t. We’re not having our faith in the One who loves us, but in our skills, another person, or fate. God promises to take care of us even more than the lilies of the field and the sparrows in the sky. Believe in His perfect love, and that will give you the hope in a situation where you might otherwise doubt.

Love conquers everything. Love gives us courage to face our fears, doubts, weaknesses, and storms. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through or will go through. God’s love gets you through lost jobs, homes, possessions, friends, family, and churches. When we fixate on our own storms, burden and depression are likely to overwhelm us, draining the capacity to show His love. Instead, cast these anxieties upon Christ, and love others as He carries us and gives us the strength to do so. God has a reason for your circumstance.  He might be growing you or others. His special plan for you may lead in a completely different direction then you might ever dream of going. Embrace where He has you, while trusting his best for you in His time. I’m not saying it’s easy, but He gives us a peace which is greater than any storm. He carries us through the storm to brighter days. It may be a long season of strife, but keep hope because His loving promise is to bring you into better days for eternity. One day there will be no more tears or pain. Believing that promise, enables us to trust Him in the storm and love others even when we’re hurting.

Love is giving forgiveness. Don’t withhold it when someone (including your spouse or children) hurts you, or does the same offense or annoyance over and over again. God calls us to forgive. That is love. Not staying angry or being vengeful, but patiently and kindly (yep, I need to work on that one!) forgive. “But he – “ NO! It doesn’t matter the transgression. Forgive. Then move on! God is bigger than any hurt. Don’t put Him in a box. His can shine through us to those we have forgiven.

Love is willing to change. I know I have grown so much, yet have such a long way to go. Through prayer, the Bible, songs, books, or others – God makes me aware of my weaknesses and sin. One example is the fruit of the Spirit, kindness. I realized I get much too sarcastic at times. Becoming kind is now on my prayer list. Oh, I ask God to change my heart - hit me with a 2x4 when I’m not kind. Make me aware and give me the courage to grow. Prevent me from hurting others, even unintentionally. He does. I feel His hand on my shoulder or mouth. “Don’t…., but do….” I don’t ever want to stop changing. We are called to be imitators of Christ; therefore, I’m called to constantly change so I can love with His love.

And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (I John 4:21) When we began attending our church in Youngsville, I went with the heart attitude and desire to love each person with God’s love, regardless of what they said or did. Once the Holy Spirit impressed this calling upon me, I prayed for I Corinthians 13 to emulate through me. I Corinthians 13 defines love as patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love is NOT envious, boastful, proud, dishonoring of others, self-seeking, easily angered, keeping record of mistakes, or delighting in evil. Love never fails. I am not saying I succeeded, but that was my heart. I did not worry about whether they liked me or not. I just wanted Jesus to shine as much through me as possible. The results? Pure joy! I don’t know if I was a blessing to them, but I know Christ worked in me. I fell in love and hard. When we knew we were moving, I could barely look at the choir or around the church without tearing up. I loved these brothers and sisters, prayed for them, cared for their prayer requests and families as they shared. I had formed bonds I never knew possible. I still love, miss and pray for them.

Love is moving past our circumstances (storms) and allowing God’s love to be evident in us for His glory, not our own gain.  We will never master love, but each day we can be a greater vessel for the Master of love to shine through. We are now in a new state and a new church. I know God wants me to continue sharing His love with others. I have been consumed. I have failed. My focus has been on my own fears, creating a cocoon. No more! Hearing the question, “What is love?” brought all this to heart and mind. Love is looking past our own desires, needs, storms, and living victoriously reflecting God’s love to others because He first loved us.

                                                                                          ~ Jenny ~