New Beginnings

Almost 5 months. I think healing's a life long process. A loved one will always be alive in one's heart. There are so many days I long to call Granny, to hear her, to see her, to smell her, to touch her. I can no longer smell her on her blanket or pillow. I can still hear her voice, laugh, & advice. I miss the rituals we had together & hold on to the traditions. I love to share family traditions with our boys. Maybe one day they'll be sharing them with their own children & adding new ones of their own.

Slowly, I'm pressin' on. God's faithfulness is amazing. His love is comforting. His Word is lasting. His life is eternal. He blessed me with 38 years of a most wonderful Granny. I've learned though how much my life was rooted in her. I'm slowly rooting myself in His Word, which encourages, teaches, disciplines, and comforts. I'm looking forward to one day meeting God and also seeing my dear Granny.

:'(
house is gone
feeling empty
missing family
missing friends
... hope this emotional roller coaster ends soon...

Late at Night

It's not always good to be up late, or alone. It's amazing the thoughts that can creep in. There are times I miss family, friends, and laughter. (No matter where I am) It's strange to be with others and feel so distant. Time goes by too fast sometimes and way too slow other times. Hmm... I'm thankful that God is always with me, even when I turn away. May He always turn me back. Christ is the source of joy, in my heart. Much can bring me happiness, but not joy. Hmm... why do I settle for the (or crave?) the little happiness around me (life being 'good')? Instead, I should indulge in His joy, lasting joy, true joy - life is 'great'! Hmm... time for sleep!