What is love?

I was recently asked, “What is love?” The Holy Spirit had already been tugging my heart about love. I zoned into my own little world as others answered. My many thoughts gravitated to "God is love," but I remained silent contemplating my belief, experience, and depth of those words. Since then, my mind keeps drifting towards that question. For many years, I have believed the word love to be overused, even by myself. I love guacamole (many of you don’t, but for me it’s a taste of heaven!). I love to dance. I love to read (especially the Word). I love to fish. I love nature. I love worship. I love my pets, friends, family, children, and husband. I love God. God is love. Love is not just a feeling or emotion; love involves action.

We begin life loving others because they love us. Our parents feed us, make sure we’re cleaned, clothed, and protected as young children. We love them. Hopefully, as we mature, our understanding of love deepens. We tend to make friends and relationships based on who loves or cares for us. What happens in times of differences, strife, or distance? These loves fade. We should not love others because they love us; “we (should) love (others) because He (God) first loved us.”  (1 John 4:19) How is this different? Look at the source of the love. Our love is imperfect. No matter how much we care for others or try to show love, we will fail at some point. We are human. God’s love is without sin. It is perfect, pure, powerful, and eternal.

God’s love is full of grace. He loved us when we were unlovable – living in sin. He loves us now, even at our worse. We should show that same love to others. We are to imitate His love. Do we love others who are doing things we disapprove of, or are we complaining and judging? Do we love our enemies or those who don’t love us? It is easy to love those who care for us. When people hurt us, our family, or those we love; usually claws come out. Instead, love them. My mom would tell me, “Look at them and think, ‘I love you’.” In Luke 6:28, Jesus commands, “Pray for those who mistreat you.” Wow! I hope you try this. At first, my prayers for the ‘unlovable’ were words of obedience only. As I remained faithful in prayer, God refined my heart replacing anger and bitterness with peace and a sincere love for the individual. Love is powerful!

Love is trusting the One who loves you and going to Him instead of living in fear or doubt. We are commanded to not fear. Fear is a sin, folks! It’s the opposite of love! I struggle with fear at times. When focusing on my fears, God’s love cannot shine through me. Instead a darkness consumes me, and defeat is written across my face. That is not love. Love is faith, not doubt. When we doubt life will get better, it won’t. We’re not having our faith in the One who loves us, but in our skills, another person, or fate. God promises to take care of us even more than the lilies of the field and the sparrows in the sky. Believe in His perfect love, and that will give you the hope in a situation where you might otherwise doubt.

Love conquers everything. Love gives us courage to face our fears, doubts, weaknesses, and storms. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through or will go through. God’s love gets you through lost jobs, homes, possessions, friends, family, and churches. When we fixate on our own storms, burden and depression are likely to overwhelm us, draining the capacity to show His love. Instead, cast these anxieties upon Christ, and love others as He carries us and gives us the strength to do so. God has a reason for your circumstance.  He might be growing you or others. His special plan for you may lead in a completely different direction then you might ever dream of going. Embrace where He has you, while trusting his best for you in His time. I’m not saying it’s easy, but He gives us a peace which is greater than any storm. He carries us through the storm to brighter days. It may be a long season of strife, but keep hope because His loving promise is to bring you into better days for eternity. One day there will be no more tears or pain. Believing that promise, enables us to trust Him in the storm and love others even when we’re hurting.

Love is giving forgiveness. Don’t withhold it when someone (including your spouse or children) hurts you, or does the same offense or annoyance over and over again. God calls us to forgive. That is love. Not staying angry or being vengeful, but patiently and kindly (yep, I need to work on that one!) forgive. “But he – “ NO! It doesn’t matter the transgression. Forgive. Then move on! God is bigger than any hurt. Don’t put Him in a box. His can shine through us to those we have forgiven.

Love is willing to change. I know I have grown so much, yet have such a long way to go. Through prayer, the Bible, songs, books, or others – God makes me aware of my weaknesses and sin. One example is the fruit of the Spirit, kindness. I realized I get much too sarcastic at times. Becoming kind is now on my prayer list. Oh, I ask God to change my heart - hit me with a 2x4 when I’m not kind. Make me aware and give me the courage to grow. Prevent me from hurting others, even unintentionally. He does. I feel His hand on my shoulder or mouth. “Don’t…., but do….” I don’t ever want to stop changing. We are called to be imitators of Christ; therefore, I’m called to constantly change so I can love with His love.

And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (I John 4:21) When we began attending our church in Youngsville, I went with the heart attitude and desire to love each person with God’s love, regardless of what they said or did. Once the Holy Spirit impressed this calling upon me, I prayed for I Corinthians 13 to emulate through me. I Corinthians 13 defines love as patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love is NOT envious, boastful, proud, dishonoring of others, self-seeking, easily angered, keeping record of mistakes, or delighting in evil. Love never fails. I am not saying I succeeded, but that was my heart. I did not worry about whether they liked me or not. I just wanted Jesus to shine as much through me as possible. The results? Pure joy! I don’t know if I was a blessing to them, but I know Christ worked in me. I fell in love and hard. When we knew we were moving, I could barely look at the choir or around the church without tearing up. I loved these brothers and sisters, prayed for them, cared for their prayer requests and families as they shared. I had formed bonds I never knew possible. I still love, miss and pray for them.

Love is moving past our circumstances (storms) and allowing God’s love to be evident in us for His glory, not our own gain.  We will never master love, but each day we can be a greater vessel for the Master of love to shine through. We are now in a new state and a new church. I know God wants me to continue sharing His love with others. I have been consumed. I have failed. My focus has been on my own fears, creating a cocoon. No more! Hearing the question, “What is love?” brought all this to heart and mind. Love is looking past our own desires, needs, storms, and living victoriously reflecting God’s love to others because He first loved us.

                                                                                          ~ Jenny ~

I Don’t Want To Say Goodbye!

Yikes! I never did post my part II... and now another topic is captivating my thoughts.

Two years ago we moved into a wonderful house, into an even better neighborhood, and near an even greater church. Due to my husband’s job being two states away, we are leaving to join him. We spent months praying for a door here, but God has led us elsewhere. What a difficult move! We don’t want to say goodbye to our church!

What? Many people ponder leaving their church for one reason or another. Did our family find the perfect church? No, but we went with the right attitudes. Church is about worshiping God and communing with the body. Together we selected where to worship after praying for the church God had for our family. It was not quite the music style, size, or ‘programs’ we were looking for, but we all knew God led us to Flat Rock Baptist. We were excited to get to know our new family.

That’s right. To us, every body of believers is family. These brothers and sisters would not be like any we had met before, nor should we expect them to be. Everyone is unique and created for a different road that sometimes intertwines. We are extremely blessed our road brought us to Youngsville, NC. We are all called to love with Christ’s love, to forgive again and again, and to allow the fruit of the Spirit to mature within us. Paul also warns us against quarreling among each other. My desire is to be God’s vessel in these areas and in any other way He chooses to use me. I am not perfect. I fail. I put my foot in my mouth. But our God is always there to help me up and continue.

“Well, easy for you,” you might assume, “You haven’t experienced what I have. You haven’t been wounded.”

Yes, I have. My family has. My injuries (although likely different from yours) have withdrawn me into a shell before, protecting myself from others. Then the best thing happen to me, God allowed me to be alone and without – except for Him. (This looks different for different people). I clung to Him and grew, and continue to grow. I don’t want to spend my life focused on me, or on trials – no matter how big or small. I want to emulate my Father, and be His light, vessel for others. I went into Flat Rock with my family and with that attitude. God opened my heart bigger than I knew possible. I fell in love.

I discovered that when our focus is in the right place, the same circumstances have a different perspective. I previously mentioned Flat Rock wasn’t exactly what we were looking for, although we knew God planted us there. I was wrong. It is perfect – it is family. We love the music style, size, and any ‘events’ that come along. Sure, mistakes are made - people are human; but they are family and we forgive and grow. We cry together and laugh together. That is what family does. If we run when there are issues (instead of pulling together in prayer and love), we will miss out on the benefits of restoration and growth.

This Sunday is probably our last before moving.  It aches to go to church and see many brothers and sisters that are a huge part of our heart and prayer life. This move seems premature for our family, but inevitable. I will continue to love and pray for my Flat Rock family, and look forward to seeing them in heaven, if not before. We have been blessed more than imaginable. I hope our family has been even a fraction of a blessing for them.  I am humbled.

Soon, we’ll be looking for a new church and meet more family. They will not be Flat Rock, but they will be special. 

I don’t want to leave my church, but I trust the road on which God leads our family. (Do you want to leave your church? If so, check to see where your focus has been planted. I challenge you to be who God created you to be – regardless of others – before you make any decisions. You may be incredibly blessed.)

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-38

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.  Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. Galatians 5:22-27

Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.  Romans 14:1  Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly… Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must , able to teach, not resentful.  2 Timothy 2:14-16, 22-24

                                                                                                            ~ Jenny ~

Content in the Storm - Part I

Just today, I was happily dancing with my cart and donning the biggest smile while leaving Harris Teeter (and saving over $100!). One would never speculate the circumstances around me. Currently in the midst of a storm, I realized I was completely content! First, let me back track.

My new razor - so blessed!!!

My life changed (maybe I’m being dramatic) this morning. We have been tremendously blessed for months. People have filled our freezer, have given us groceries, and have brought us wonderful meals. But the other day when the boys and I came home from visiting Tim, someone had blessed us with razors! You might think that sounds crazy, but for me it was amazing! I didn't realize how much until this morning. In fact, I thought, “Razors? Hmmm…” But then this morning, for the first time since January, I used a new razor. For the last 9 months I had used one of my husband’s disposable razors.  Let me tell you- it is not the same as a girl’s razor. This morning, as I took my shower, I brought in with me one of these new disposable razors. I had the closest, smoothest shave that I can remember! I felt like a new woman! I just had to celebrate!

Oh, yeah, baby! And under $2!!!
One lucky gal!

After months of making frugal and sacrificial purchases, I bought something for me - lettuce! Not that nasty pale iceberg lettuce (Sorry, Tim, I know you like your wedge salads), but the savory, delicious dark green leaf lettuce. Yes, I splurged a whopping $1.99! Oh, yeah, and then I caved on another item! A while back, I failed to replenish the cream for my coffee. I do believe I was almost beginning to enjoy black coffee. Then I visited my husband. Tim spoiled me – half & half!!! Oh, wow! It’s amazing how little turns my morning drink into a rich, creamy, satisfying dessert.

Now, I'm not being totally selfish. I didn't splurge only on myself with some lettuce and half & half (which one of my sons already wants to drink – it’ll be gone in no time!). Harris Teeter is known in our family for having Archie comic books. So being the selfless mother I am, I splurged on my boys too. I purchased not one, but two Archie books. I'll surprise them with one in a few days, and another one in a few weeks. Won't they just be the happiest guys ever!

Just to clarify: my contentment and joy doesn’t come from this moment of lavish spending or luxuries. Through endurance and growth of my faith and hope in Christ, I find increased joy each day.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13



                                                                                                                              ~Jenny~

I Am Not Leaving My Comfort Zone!

Have you ever found yourself living in a ‘comfort zone?’ You don’t want to step out of it for fear of the unknown – you sit in the same spot, go to the same restaurants, keep the same job, talk with the same people, and follow the same routine. These habits bring a false security in a chaotic, sinful world; producing feelings of safety and contentment.

* What happens when your restaurant closes?

* What happens when your job ceases?

* What happens when friends and family fade away?

* What happens when there’s financial loss?

* What happens when there’s betrayal?

* What happens when jobs are grueling or nonexistent?

* What happens when you lose a house?

* What happens when there’s illness?

* What happens when there’s death?

* What happens when your spouse is living/working miles away?

* What happens when there’s loneliness?

BOOM! Your shelter crumbles. You’re robbed of happiness. You’re not sure where to turn. You crawl deeper into a shell creating a smaller ‘comfort zone.’

Is it healthy to live in such a comfort zone? I think not, and you most likely agree! Have you heard the advice, “Life begins living once you step out of your comfort zone.”? Living with securities generated from this kind of sheltered life could stifle creativity, growth, and courage. Not my securities! My life began when I discovered a comfort zone and refused to leave.  Now, I am empowered and experience joy in the storms!!!!

As a believer, my Father is always present, and He knows the best path for me (and for you!) I can walk under His umbrella, or choose to walk away – listening to my own logic or others. My God, my Savior, my Spirit – He is my comfort zone. Each time I experienced a “What happens…” from above, God has provided exactly what I needed. He is my shelter, joy, friend, courage, provider, strength, healer, comforter, and hope. Living in (and trusting) my comfort zone of being a child of God empowers me to withstand and overcome each storm, to try something new, and to embrace change.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

    Do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

                   Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

This is where I remain. Do I ever leave my comfort zone? Foolishly, yes. Although, with each weathered storm, growth, and miracle; I run more rapidly and readily to God. Try it. As you repeatedly choose Christ as your comfort zone, you will recognize when you’ve stepped out, and will eagerly run back into His arms.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

    I have no good apart from you.”

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel;

    in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
    because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

You make known to me the path of life;
    in your presence there is fullness of joy;
    at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

                      Psalm 16: 1,2,7,8,11 (ESV)

                                                                   ~Jenny~

I Trust You

I trust you. Every parent likes to hear these three words.  The very first year of a child’s life is crucial for the psychosocial development of trust (vs mistrust). During this time, a child learns to trust his or her caregiver, unless abuse or neglect occurs. We want our children to trust us and have confidence in their own life. Likewise, our Heavenly Father desires us to trust Him, and come to Him with this childlike faith (trust).

“And calling to him (Jesus) a child, he put him in the midst of them (the disciples) and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’” Matthew 18:2-3 ESV. What does Jesus mean, “...become like children”? He means to have that childlike faith of trust. Most young children will trust their parents or caregivers. If they get hurt, feel ill, or become scared; they run to their parents for help.

My Little Men were all stuck in a tree. I raised my arms and asked them to jump. One son did and soon his feet touched the ground. Another, who was the highest up, followed suit and leaped into my arms. The remaining son would not jump. I tried coaxing him and explaining that I successfully assisted his brothers out of the tree. No! He would not trust me. I was the same Mom to him as I was to his brothers. Why did he refuse to trust me? Yes, it broke my heart.

I imagine God’s heart breaking. He is the same God to all of His children. His love and promises never fail.

          “Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

          And lean not on your own understanding;

          In all your ways acknowledge Him,

          And He shall direct[a] your paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV.

I wonder, am I willing to jump without hesitation into my Father’s arms, or am I scared and yelling, “No!”

In our season of waiting, fear creeps in. Forgive me, Father, when I cause Your heart to break! My heart’s desire and most joyous times are when I lean on promises from God’s Word to His children. From experience, I much rather prefer resting in His arms, than remaining stuck in a tree. O! Heavenly Father, I trust Thee!

                                                                            ~ Jenny ~

Just Wondering.... and Waiting

Today is exactly 10 weeks, or 70 days, since my husband last worked. The job finding process continues. He fills out numerous applications daily searching in our area, our state, our country, and even our world. Our family's prayer continues to be a job for here, but we are willing to go elsewhere. A friend recently sent me this message, "I just can't figure out why He (God) is making you wait so long? Still trusting Him (God) completely! Just wondering..." I've been wondering too, although I try to not analyze God as I was in the habit of doing in the past. The reasons are endless, but some possibilities are as follows: worldly requirements, sin, my turn, His timing, or His blessings.

Tim’s brick walls appear in regards to requirements, too little or not enough. Being an owner, vice president, and director of operations; companies don’t even want to look at him in fear of his ‘over qualifications.’ The threat is in believing he might just take off when a better offer surfaces. On the other hand, Tim’s vast knowledge in business is due to experience rather than education. Although he has been repeatedly praised for having more wisdom than a master’s degree, many businesses require that paper. Another wall is age. In 3 more weeks (21 days) my wonderful husband will become the great age of sixty.  These are all worldly obstacles. That is my point – worldly.  God is not of this world. He sent His son to overcome the world. Not one person has the requirements to enter Heaven. To this Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27 NIV) God can provide Tim a job.

Is there sin keeping us from God’s provision? I often pray,

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps 139:23-24 NKJV)

I am not a perfect Christian, but I do seek Him the best I can each day with all my heart. My desire is to be refined and to die daily to self. I fail miserably, and I am thankful for a God who sees my heart, dusts me off, and walks me closer to Him. I cannot speak for Tim’s heart, but I do see a great love in him for the Lord, and continual growth. In his last job, Tim stood true to his faith although pressured to make ungodly decisions. All in all, his faith is probably what cost him the only job he’s ever been let go from. We are not without sin, but we both love our Savior and are continually being transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:1-3) God has a plan for us.

My mind often asks, “Is it your turn to work, Jenny?”  My husband continually responds, “No.” The world often answers, “Yes.” What does God say? I seek God on this occasionally even when Tim is working. We both strongly believe God has me homeschooling our boys. It has been a blessing to have this confirmed through a variety of ways. I often do ponder on what God has in store for me once they are grown (a whole other topic of its own). My own age, lack of requirements and health issues play a concern. “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) God has blessed me with a season of schooling my boys for now.

God’s timing for Tim’s next adventure just hasn't arrived yet. There could be so many reasons for the when of God’s plans. His timing is perfect and without question, yet my analytical mind ponders – Tim’s thoughts, situations allowed, changed hearts, and perseverance.

Tim recently shared with me his thoughts on why God is waiting. He realized jobs seem to come to him near his birthday, May 27^th. He was hired at McDonald’s and later Burger King in May. It was also coming into his birthday weekend when he received word of his employment with Dunkin Donuts, moving us from New York to North Carolina. Here it is – May.

These past 10 weeks have allowed for situations I praise God Tim has been here for. We have had flooding (plumbing) surprises, and an exciting hail storm which caused major damage. We are still having ongoing activity in regards to damage from the hail storm.

           

Our hearts are continually changing, hopefully growing closer to Christ. This circumstance has already brought about change. Mama doesn’t like anyone messin’ with her kids or man! My claws came out when I saw the effects of Tim’s unethical, cruel employer on him. God has truly taught me to love this unlovable man, enemy if you will, with His love. I forgave him and pray for this man to turn to our Lord and Savior. “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 ESV) My heart is continually changing. What a joy when I begin to focus on our situation, and the fear that desires to settle in, and God draws me back to Him – His peace and hope!

We are growing in perseverance. For a few weeks in February and March, it was easy to feel relief from the pressures Tim had at work, and keep our hope and trust in God’s provision. If God had supplied Tim with a job then, our perseverance would not have grown. We want growth! “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4) Over these past 70 days we have faced trials. We have had our faith tested. Through the dark days, as we begin to give into the unknown, God has revealed Himself, carrying us and filling us with His joy and hope. “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4 NKJV) It seems as we go through different trials, the length and intensity increase refining us even greater and preparing us for what lies ahead.

Tim might not have a job yet because of God’s blessings? It makes complete sense! Although this has been a stormy season, we have experienced many of God’s blessings! We were concerned about food, and a wonderful man came to fill our freezer! Our boys were blessed with scholarships to attend a Christian concert and go to a weekend camp at the beach! A friend blessed me with a scholarship to attend a fabulous women’s conference! God has provided financial means through people and our tax return (thank You, God for all those medical needs last year), just as we needed it! Food has been given to us by other friends and neighbors! These are incredible blessings which have brought me to my knees in tears praising God. He is good!

Why is God having us wait so long? I have no idea. Yes, my analytical self can ponder several different avenues, but for now I am just going to rest in God. I am going to enjoy the blessings while waiting and having my family together, growing as only a family can when around each other so often. I am going to be fervent in prayer while waiting and open to any refinement God has in store for my heart. One day I will praise Him from the mountaintops when God blesses my precious husband with His perfect gift! “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

                                                                                 ~Jenny~

It's Friday...

A couple of things hit me today. A friend told me I'd like a site, "Broken People". Yes, we are broken people. God loves us anyway. He LOVES each one of us ~ He places the broken pieces together in our lives. GRACE. Another friend posted a video about Good Friday. Today is Friday, but Sunday is a comin'. AMEN! Once again, GRACE.

Friday... Jesus' death. Gloom. Failure. Depression. Hope has died. Broken... How many of our lives feel like that? All different elements play into these feelings. Jobs. Careers (or lack of.) Marriages (or lack of.) Children (or lack of.) Weight. Moves. Loneliness. Deaths. Finances. Living up to other's expectations (or our own.) The past. Physical ailments. We all have our own 'Fridays'. None of which compare to Christ's, yet they are painful to us.

I am tired of Friday. Sometimes left alone, we let these circumstances overwhelm or control us. Why? Habit? We like it? Fear? No! We are ALL special and created by God. God doesn't make mistakes. Man does; that is why we forgive one another (and ourselves.) We don't have to live in our 'Friday' mindset. It's time to move on to Sunday!

Sunday... Christ AROSE!!! He conquered death, not through His death, but through His resurrection. We are His children, and should live & serve with His hope! GRACE. Sunday is our peace. Christ is our peace in the midst of any storm we face, whether mild or a hurricane. Get out of our comfort zone. Face our lives, and any storms that may be in it or come our way, with Christ. He will give the peace which our hearts and minds so desire. The Holy Spirit will guide us through each step of the way ~ with hope.

It's time (for me at least) to not live like it's Friday, but Sunday. I am broken, but not defeated. My weaknesses and 'falls' can be used to glorify God and for His good.

 I Peter 1:3-6  ~  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials