What is love?

I was recently asked, “What is love?” The Holy Spirit had already been tugging my heart about love. I zoned into my own little world as others answered. My many thoughts gravitated to "God is love," but I remained silent contemplating my belief, experience, and depth of those words. Since then, my mind keeps drifting towards that question. For many years, I have believed the word love to be overused, even by myself. I love guacamole (many of you don’t, but for me it’s a taste of heaven!). I love to dance. I love to read (especially the Word). I love to fish. I love nature. I love worship. I love my pets, friends, family, children, and husband. I love God. God is love. Love is not just a feeling or emotion; love involves action.

We begin life loving others because they love us. Our parents feed us, make sure we’re cleaned, clothed, and protected as young children. We love them. Hopefully, as we mature, our understanding of love deepens. We tend to make friends and relationships based on who loves or cares for us. What happens in times of differences, strife, or distance? These loves fade. We should not love others because they love us; “we (should) love (others) because He (God) first loved us.”  (1 John 4:19) How is this different? Look at the source of the love. Our love is imperfect. No matter how much we care for others or try to show love, we will fail at some point. We are human. God’s love is without sin. It is perfect, pure, powerful, and eternal.

God’s love is full of grace. He loved us when we were unlovable – living in sin. He loves us now, even at our worse. We should show that same love to others. We are to imitate His love. Do we love others who are doing things we disapprove of, or are we complaining and judging? Do we love our enemies or those who don’t love us? It is easy to love those who care for us. When people hurt us, our family, or those we love; usually claws come out. Instead, love them. My mom would tell me, “Look at them and think, ‘I love you’.” In Luke 6:28, Jesus commands, “Pray for those who mistreat you.” Wow! I hope you try this. At first, my prayers for the ‘unlovable’ were words of obedience only. As I remained faithful in prayer, God refined my heart replacing anger and bitterness with peace and a sincere love for the individual. Love is powerful!

Love is trusting the One who loves you and going to Him instead of living in fear or doubt. We are commanded to not fear. Fear is a sin, folks! It’s the opposite of love! I struggle with fear at times. When focusing on my fears, God’s love cannot shine through me. Instead a darkness consumes me, and defeat is written across my face. That is not love. Love is faith, not doubt. When we doubt life will get better, it won’t. We’re not having our faith in the One who loves us, but in our skills, another person, or fate. God promises to take care of us even more than the lilies of the field and the sparrows in the sky. Believe in His perfect love, and that will give you the hope in a situation where you might otherwise doubt.

Love conquers everything. Love gives us courage to face our fears, doubts, weaknesses, and storms. It doesn’t matter what you’re going through or will go through. God’s love gets you through lost jobs, homes, possessions, friends, family, and churches. When we fixate on our own storms, burden and depression are likely to overwhelm us, draining the capacity to show His love. Instead, cast these anxieties upon Christ, and love others as He carries us and gives us the strength to do so. God has a reason for your circumstance.  He might be growing you or others. His special plan for you may lead in a completely different direction then you might ever dream of going. Embrace where He has you, while trusting his best for you in His time. I’m not saying it’s easy, but He gives us a peace which is greater than any storm. He carries us through the storm to brighter days. It may be a long season of strife, but keep hope because His loving promise is to bring you into better days for eternity. One day there will be no more tears or pain. Believing that promise, enables us to trust Him in the storm and love others even when we’re hurting.

Love is giving forgiveness. Don’t withhold it when someone (including your spouse or children) hurts you, or does the same offense or annoyance over and over again. God calls us to forgive. That is love. Not staying angry or being vengeful, but patiently and kindly (yep, I need to work on that one!) forgive. “But he – “ NO! It doesn’t matter the transgression. Forgive. Then move on! God is bigger than any hurt. Don’t put Him in a box. His can shine through us to those we have forgiven.

Love is willing to change. I know I have grown so much, yet have such a long way to go. Through prayer, the Bible, songs, books, or others – God makes me aware of my weaknesses and sin. One example is the fruit of the Spirit, kindness. I realized I get much too sarcastic at times. Becoming kind is now on my prayer list. Oh, I ask God to change my heart - hit me with a 2x4 when I’m not kind. Make me aware and give me the courage to grow. Prevent me from hurting others, even unintentionally. He does. I feel His hand on my shoulder or mouth. “Don’t…., but do….” I don’t ever want to stop changing. We are called to be imitators of Christ; therefore, I’m called to constantly change so I can love with His love.

And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (I John 4:21) When we began attending our church in Youngsville, I went with the heart attitude and desire to love each person with God’s love, regardless of what they said or did. Once the Holy Spirit impressed this calling upon me, I prayed for I Corinthians 13 to emulate through me. I Corinthians 13 defines love as patient, kind, rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love is NOT envious, boastful, proud, dishonoring of others, self-seeking, easily angered, keeping record of mistakes, or delighting in evil. Love never fails. I am not saying I succeeded, but that was my heart. I did not worry about whether they liked me or not. I just wanted Jesus to shine as much through me as possible. The results? Pure joy! I don’t know if I was a blessing to them, but I know Christ worked in me. I fell in love and hard. When we knew we were moving, I could barely look at the choir or around the church without tearing up. I loved these brothers and sisters, prayed for them, cared for their prayer requests and families as they shared. I had formed bonds I never knew possible. I still love, miss and pray for them.

Love is moving past our circumstances (storms) and allowing God’s love to be evident in us for His glory, not our own gain.  We will never master love, but each day we can be a greater vessel for the Master of love to shine through. We are now in a new state and a new church. I know God wants me to continue sharing His love with others. I have been consumed. I have failed. My focus has been on my own fears, creating a cocoon. No more! Hearing the question, “What is love?” brought all this to heart and mind. Love is looking past our own desires, needs, storms, and living victoriously reflecting God’s love to others because He first loved us.

                                                                                          ~ Jenny ~

Just Wondering.... and Waiting

Today is exactly 10 weeks, or 70 days, since my husband last worked. The job finding process continues. He fills out numerous applications daily searching in our area, our state, our country, and even our world. Our family's prayer continues to be a job for here, but we are willing to go elsewhere. A friend recently sent me this message, "I just can't figure out why He (God) is making you wait so long? Still trusting Him (God) completely! Just wondering..." I've been wondering too, although I try to not analyze God as I was in the habit of doing in the past. The reasons are endless, but some possibilities are as follows: worldly requirements, sin, my turn, His timing, or His blessings.

Tim’s brick walls appear in regards to requirements, too little or not enough. Being an owner, vice president, and director of operations; companies don’t even want to look at him in fear of his ‘over qualifications.’ The threat is in believing he might just take off when a better offer surfaces. On the other hand, Tim’s vast knowledge in business is due to experience rather than education. Although he has been repeatedly praised for having more wisdom than a master’s degree, many businesses require that paper. Another wall is age. In 3 more weeks (21 days) my wonderful husband will become the great age of sixty.  These are all worldly obstacles. That is my point – worldly.  God is not of this world. He sent His son to overcome the world. Not one person has the requirements to enter Heaven. To this Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27 NIV) God can provide Tim a job.

Is there sin keeping us from God’s provision? I often pray,

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me, and know my anxieties;

And see if there is any wicked way in me,

And lead me in the way everlasting. (Ps 139:23-24 NKJV)

I am not a perfect Christian, but I do seek Him the best I can each day with all my heart. My desire is to be refined and to die daily to self. I fail miserably, and I am thankful for a God who sees my heart, dusts me off, and walks me closer to Him. I cannot speak for Tim’s heart, but I do see a great love in him for the Lord, and continual growth. In his last job, Tim stood true to his faith although pressured to make ungodly decisions. All in all, his faith is probably what cost him the only job he’s ever been let go from. We are not without sin, but we both love our Savior and are continually being transformed by the renewing of our minds. (Romans 12:1-3) God has a plan for us.

My mind often asks, “Is it your turn to work, Jenny?”  My husband continually responds, “No.” The world often answers, “Yes.” What does God say? I seek God on this occasionally even when Tim is working. We both strongly believe God has me homeschooling our boys. It has been a blessing to have this confirmed through a variety of ways. I often do ponder on what God has in store for me once they are grown (a whole other topic of its own). My own age, lack of requirements and health issues play a concern. “To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1) God has blessed me with a season of schooling my boys for now.

God’s timing for Tim’s next adventure just hasn't arrived yet. There could be so many reasons for the when of God’s plans. His timing is perfect and without question, yet my analytical mind ponders – Tim’s thoughts, situations allowed, changed hearts, and perseverance.

Tim recently shared with me his thoughts on why God is waiting. He realized jobs seem to come to him near his birthday, May 27^th. He was hired at McDonald’s and later Burger King in May. It was also coming into his birthday weekend when he received word of his employment with Dunkin Donuts, moving us from New York to North Carolina. Here it is – May.

These past 10 weeks have allowed for situations I praise God Tim has been here for. We have had flooding (plumbing) surprises, and an exciting hail storm which caused major damage. We are still having ongoing activity in regards to damage from the hail storm.

           

Our hearts are continually changing, hopefully growing closer to Christ. This circumstance has already brought about change. Mama doesn’t like anyone messin’ with her kids or man! My claws came out when I saw the effects of Tim’s unethical, cruel employer on him. God has truly taught me to love this unlovable man, enemy if you will, with His love. I forgave him and pray for this man to turn to our Lord and Savior. “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44 ESV) My heart is continually changing. What a joy when I begin to focus on our situation, and the fear that desires to settle in, and God draws me back to Him – His peace and hope!

We are growing in perseverance. For a few weeks in February and March, it was easy to feel relief from the pressures Tim had at work, and keep our hope and trust in God’s provision. If God had supplied Tim with a job then, our perseverance would not have grown. We want growth! “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4) Over these past 70 days we have faced trials. We have had our faith tested. Through the dark days, as we begin to give into the unknown, God has revealed Himself, carrying us and filling us with His joy and hope. “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4 NKJV) It seems as we go through different trials, the length and intensity increase refining us even greater and preparing us for what lies ahead.

Tim might not have a job yet because of God’s blessings? It makes complete sense! Although this has been a stormy season, we have experienced many of God’s blessings! We were concerned about food, and a wonderful man came to fill our freezer! Our boys were blessed with scholarships to attend a Christian concert and go to a weekend camp at the beach! A friend blessed me with a scholarship to attend a fabulous women’s conference! God has provided financial means through people and our tax return (thank You, God for all those medical needs last year), just as we needed it! Food has been given to us by other friends and neighbors! These are incredible blessings which have brought me to my knees in tears praising God. He is good!

Why is God having us wait so long? I have no idea. Yes, my analytical self can ponder several different avenues, but for now I am just going to rest in God. I am going to enjoy the blessings while waiting and having my family together, growing as only a family can when around each other so often. I am going to be fervent in prayer while waiting and open to any refinement God has in store for my heart. One day I will praise Him from the mountaintops when God blesses my precious husband with His perfect gift! “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14 ESV)

                                                                                 ~Jenny~